Its had become apparent over the course of this school year that my little Blonde haired girl was going to give me a run for my money. Ever the quiet and studious one in my mix, she is the least likely to come to me with questions. In part I take it as a compliment that I have instilled a sense of self into her at such a young age, but there’s another part of me that wishes she would give me advanced warning before some of her shenanigans.
Two days ago she came down the stairs with something pink all over her eye lids, cheeks, and forehead. I had no idea what she had done, but I equal parts hoped it was my makeup, and in the same moment wished that it wasn’t.
“What have you gotten into?” I asked in my most controlled, and yet firm tone.
“Nothing.” “I don’t know” and “I didn’t do anything” where the series of answers I received to my repeated line of questioning. Obviously her answers were not accurate as I could see her misdemeanor plain as the…..well powder on her face.
“Show me now!” I yelled….because when it comes to lying (from a person looking me directly in the eyes) my fuse is short.
She walked head down into my bathroom…aka the crime scene. It totally was my makeup.
To know me is to know I always wear eye makeup. It has always been a part of my daily routine of self efficacy. So the eye makeup is sacred.
Walking into my bathroom, I found an open palette of complementary shadow colors, and blender brush laying on the counter. The bristles once lying in a uniform direction had been pressure flattened, and were now spread in a blasphemous spray. I felt the vein over my right eye twitch.
My eyes turned towards the palette which of course now had the co-mingling of a few colors…..because children are physically incapable of keeping paint, play doh, and apparently your eye shadow from becoming a unified greige.
I firmly informed her she was not to be in my stuff without my permission, and I proceeded to remove the pink catastrophe present on much of her face.
Feeling evolved and having regained my cool, I asked, “Would you like me to put some eye shadow on you?”
“Oh yes!” she whispered, quivering with delight.
I selected an angled brush, and ever so lightly made a single swipe across a very soft lavender shade in the palette. I then proceeded to make two corresponding wisps onto each of her eye lids. It was very faint…..with more of a shimmer that caught the light, and the now beaming twinkle in her eye. She was delighted.
“This is something only mommy can help you with. You must promise me you will not get into my makeup without my permission again,” I stated.
She nodded her head and skipped off to show her sisters.
Yesterday morning she bounded into my bathroom at 5:45 am as I was getting ready and asked, “Can you do my eye shadow now?”
So….. this is a thing we are doing everyday now, I thought. I complied with her request, hoping the novelty of all of this would wear off in a few short days…..because she is after all six!
Okay…..so now you are up to speed to the events as of today.
In the last 30 hours I went on a pilgromage from super agitated mom, to feeling like an evolved mom, to slightly perplexed mom to….now….a “what is on your face now?!?” totally losing her business mom….not but 30 min ago.
That’s right the child had yet again gotten into my makeup. This time electing to not only do her face AND Baby’s. Oh for goodness sakes!! Clearly instructions are not being heeded.
We again had a conversation about brushes, color mingling, cost of mommy’s product, the insistence I must be in my bathroom if she is, personal space, lying, putting things on her sisters eyes, oh the list goes on……because the child is obviously not listening to me.
SHE IS SIX!!! SIX! What is happening!?!
Over the next 14 years you will be able to trace it back to this very moment in time when I first experienced a crack in the foundation of my once stable psyche.
This child may be my undoing people. I’m just putting it out there.
She is the child I have struggled from day one to understand. My beautiful, introverted, girly girl. She insists on wearing a skirt or dress every day. She rocks a saucy cowboy boot daily. She has legs that go on for miles. She still loves all things pink. And yet…..she is my stubborn, often secretive, much to withdrawn, always desiring to be more mature for her age princess. She is stretching to me in so many new ways.
Motherhood lived in technicolor reminds me that parenting children who are different from us can serve as our greatest teachers. To see the world through new eyes is one of the gifts of motherhood. The learning part of the process might have a few bumps along the way, but the stretching seasons are the times were we grow the most, and are the most rewarding.
Summer Smith is a speaker, writer, and motherhood blogger. She and her family are currently navigating the suburbs of Northern Virginia. As the mother to four young children, Summer maintains her sanity thanks to her sense of humor, copious amounts of coffee, and Amazon Prime. Maya Angelou once said, when reflecting on her childhood, that her mother left an impression like technicolor stars in the midnight sky. Influenced by these words, Summer blogs at her website Motherhood in Technicolor, and can also be found on her Motherhood in Technicolor Facebook page.