“So did you go to Paris this weekend?” the Blonde’s substitute teacher leaned down and whispered to me.
(Oh lord I thought…here we go again) I simply smiled.
“Did the Blonde share that little factoid with you today?” I replied.
“Yes, she told the whole class that she went to Paris over the weekend to celebrate your birthday. Which apparently they were all in awe over since this is her second time this school year traveling to Paris,” the substitute laughed.
“My children have never gone international. I did go away for my birthday, but no it was not to Paris. So….here’s the thing you need to know about the Blonde. She likes to talk about things she WISHES were happening.” I responded laughing.
“She was very convincing,” the substitute replied.
“Oh yes…..she won’t break once she gets into her story mode. She convinced her entire Kindergarten class last year that she had live fairies in her bedroom. Every 6 months or so, we have to talk about how some people are more sensitive to tales of imagination, and I try to encourage her to incorporate phrases like ‘wouldn’t it be fun if….’ or ‘sometimes I like to imagine’ into her story sharing.
The substitute was clearly amused by the entire conversation.
“My philosophy is that possessing an active imagination is a gift. As long as she isn’t using it for ill intention or to skirt responsibility from a wrong doing….I allow it. Sometimes I do however have to clarify the matter with her friends parents.”
“It’s probably a phase,” the substitute tried to encourage me.
****************************
Oh boy you guys….this girl. I’m not sure it is a phase. So here’s the thing about storytelling……the litigious side of me would argue its very nuanced.
The Blonde is 7….and to date she has never used her story telling under a premise of ill intention. It has been strictly all in good fun, and revealing to me that her Wanderlust is STRONG as the stories are predominantly about things she is doing or places she is apparently visiting.
That said….I have therefore done very little to alter the present behavior…. other than to talk with her ever so often about how our words impact others, and the importance of choosing our words carefully when speaking to our friends.
The truth of the matter is that she comes up with the best games with her sisters or friends, and her imagination is simply one of the most beautiful things about her.
Following the Paris incident….we had a whole conversation at bedtime about writing a children’s book series about the adventures of a little girl we decided to name Make-Believe Cate. I loved seeing her eyes sparkle as we tossed out ideas for possible adventures this character could take.
Yes, I’m aware that permitting this story telling behavior that its going to force the occasional explanatory conversation on her behalf. I don’t honestly know how its all going to scale or if it is simply just an early elementary phase that she will outgrow. For now…..for now I’m letting her just do her, and tell her stories.
Now that she’s old enough to write we have another outlet at our disposal. I have started incorporating the phrase “always tell your truth but write your stories.” I don’t want her to loose this part of her spirit…..remind me of this moment though in a few years when we hit high school if things starts to spin.
Motherhood lived in technicolor friends reminds me that parenting does not call us to create clones of ourself. It is instead the crafted skill of instilling values, disciplines, confidence, security, and purposefulness into tiny humans that possess fragments of your DNA. We are simply supporting characters in their life stories, and not the authors of them. Our role is certainly a powerful one as their parents, but they are their own people.
What a calling….what a challenge…..what a journey this thing called parenthood.
Summer Smith is a speaker, writer, and motherhood blogger. She and her family are currently navigating the suburbs of Northern Virginia. As the mother to four young children, Summer maintains her sanity thanks to her sense of humor, copious amounts of coffee, and Amazon Prime. Maya Angelou once said, when reflecting on her childhood, that her mother left an impression like technicolor stars in the midnight sky. Influenced by these words, Summer blogs at her website Motherhood in Technicolor, and can also be found on her Motherhood in Technicolor Facebook page.